Time for a a short nap

Things have been a little quiet on the Bring the Baby front recently.

It's not been intentional, it's just that life has taken a few twists and turns recently and I've just not had the time to commit to it to really get it off the ground.

I'm so grateful to the people who have joined me on Twitter and Facebook since launch in the summer, which shows there's plenty of parents who want to see improvements made to our overall baby friendliness.

However, I am going to be taking a break from Bring the Baby so that I can focus on the other areas of my life that are eating up my time at present and then come back to it with renewed energy and focus in due course.

If anyone has any ideas for Bring the Baby in the meantime or wants to pick up the mantle, please get in touch - I'll be keeping the Facebook page and Twitter account open or you can just leave a message here.

I'm also on Twitter as @justine_RSPCA so if you've got an interest in animal welfare/marketing/PR and would like to pop across and say hello, please do so.

So it's au revoir for now, but not goodbye.

Stepping off the hamster wheel of life

I wonder how many mums have watched the new Sarah Jessica Parker film I don't know how she does it and thought, well I do, because that's my life.

And I wonder how many mums wish that they could replace their own Kate Reddy character with Sarah Jessica Parker's better known Carrie Bradshaw and switch their carry cot for a Cosmopolitan.

I was moved this week when I came across a blog post about how depression can make you a bad parent. A little harsh, I thought but when I read it, it made sense. It's about how ignoring the signs and refusing to seek help can make you a bad parent - and this created a little ouch in me.

The truth is that I have fought those demons in my head since my little girl was born, and six years on they still come up and bite me, gnawing away at my ear with negative thoughts about my parenting abilities. And I can say with complete conviction as I write that my thoughts are completely irrational but when they take hold then the only voice I'm hearing is that one that tells me I'm a bad mum.

My second admission of the day is that I didn't want to be labelled. I didn't want people to know that I was struggling. I didn't want people to think I wasn't a good mum...until it drove me pretty crazy.

And all this because everyone else around me seemed to be managing OK. Or were they?

Being a mum is by far the hardest job you will ever do so it's no wonder we end up feeling like we've lost the plot. Sorry dads, I'm not meaning to exclude you here, but mums come equipped with extra helpings of stress, worry and anxiety genes, not to mention the hormones.

But the more I hear and the more mums I speak to it appears that PND and/or parenting related anxiety is more common than not - but what's causing it? Of course if you speak to our parents or grandparents they seem to tell a different story of how you "just got on with it." So what's changed?

Personally I blame the media and its portrayal of parenting - the beautiful celebrities and their perfect bundles - for creating a rose-tinted impression of what parenthood is all about. And what happens if you set your expectations to high? You come crashing down in a big heap. Accepted of course that PND can be caused by a chemical imbalance too, but surely the perception of parenting and the sense of failure we feel when things don't go right must be a huge contributory factor?

Combine that with the pressures placed upon the busy working mum and the enormous dollop of guilt she's carrying around on her shoulders and is it any wonder that we're silently screaming for help?

At the start of this week I had a collision with those demons once again. Faced with the choice of jumping on the first aeroplane out of this country and my life, or finding a way to muddle through the quagmire in my chaotic head, I decided to step off the hamster wheel by taking a week off work, checking in with my counsellor, and giving myself a break.

These last few days have helped me put things back into perspective and get a handle on the negative thought demons that do paralyse me and stop me from being a good parent as the Real Supermum's blog points out. But by facing up to, rather than ignoring them, I can get back on the right track towards happy mummy state.

And I think it's perfectly OK to long for a Carrie Bradshaw moment in my Kate Reddy life. Whose to say carry cots and Cosmopolitans shouldn't go hand in hand?

How is it possible to be this tired and still be awake!

I felt really sorry for Mel B this week pictured looking exhausted in the Daily Mail.

Not sorry because she was pictured looking less than perfect, but because I empathised 100% with that sleep deprived feeling.

There really is nothing like it. So how do we survive it?

My survival tool was Victoria sponge cake, or any other sponge cake in the absence of the Victoria variety. It just had to be sponge. And that was fine when I was at home - I made sure the cupboard was full of sponge cake (no, I'm not the baking kind of gal) and friends were on strict instructions to come armed when they visited.

So that's life at home with a new-born sorted. But what about when I was out and about?

Picture this. One stressed-out, sleep deprived mum. (Zombie-liked movements, accompanied with Donald Pleasance-esk stark-staring eyes are the give-away) robotically walking along nose twitching in search of sugary substances and.....coffee! It's getting urgent, the baby's getting restless and it's almost feedtime. I. Need. Coffee. And. I. Need. Cake. And. I. Need. It. Now.

There it is. A coffee shop. But it's 1pm and it's heaving. There's a queue so long it's just never going to move and I can't get my buggy through the door because there's a couple of students chatting idly on the other side totally unaware that the boggly-eyed, purpled-faced monster on the other side of the door is in fact a human being who needs a hand with the door and her baby is really starting to cry now and I'm going to cry too if someone doesn't help me. Arghh!!

Inside, I join the queue, stress levels peaking now and I'm cursing the person at the front who has had all the time in the world to peruse the coffee menu, but no, they just wait until they get to the front and then ponder over the variety of choices.

Eventually it's my turn. Coffee and cake will soon be mine. But only then do I consider the challenge in front of me. How am I going to get my tray loaded with coffee and cake from the counter to the table while negotiating the tables with my enormous pushchair. (Note to mums to be: big pushchairs may look lovely but they are impossible to get through tight spaces, you constantly take out people's shins and you need to be the world's strongest man to get them in and out of the boot of your car.)

Back to the point in hand, how do I...and then it happens. The young lad behind the counter turns into an angel before my eyes as he offers to carry my tray to my table. Well that was it. That simple gesture and I have been their most loyal customer ever since.

In terms of baby-friendliness there's smelly nappy bins, combined feeding and changing rooms and antiquated attitudes towards public breastfeeding to overcome, but this simple gesture made it a simple yay or a nay as to whether I'd go back again with a baby in tow. The good news is that they're one of the bigger coffee chains and although my own little lady is big enough to make her own way to our table now while I carry the tray I was relieved to see the same thing happening in another one of their branches.

So which coffee shop gets your vote for baby-friendliness? Cast your vote in our poll

I'll tell you who got my vote in due course...

Call in the PR team...we've made a baby blooper

Drum roll please....

In honour of some astonishing blunders I'm pleased to announce the Bring the Baby Bloopers.

The Bloopers are awarded to companies or individuals who have, through ignorance of the law, failings in staff training, lack of consideration for parents with babies or simply just bigoted personal opinion, made a big bloop.

And so without further ado and in no particular order, the awards for the Bring the Baby Bloopers go to:

The Lakeside Inn, Felgate, Jarrow, South Tyneside. Awarded for asking a mum to stop breastfeeding her baby in the restaurant.

The Science Museum, London. Awarded because a security guard suggested to a mum breastfeeding her baby in a public area that she use the family room.

Drayton Manor Hotel in Staffordshire for telling a mum to change her child on the toilet floor.

The Prince Regent Swimming Complex in Brighton for asking a mum to stop breastfeeding her baby by the poolside.

BBC Radio Suffolk DJ James Hazell for comparing breastfeedinging to sex in public.

Chessington World of Adventures for telling a mum to feed her baby in the loo.

Parents and businesses: Find out what the law says about breastfeeding in public (mums: it's your right)

Read top tips from mum blogger, Corinne Hills on how to deal with unwanted attention when breastfeeding in public.

The Bring the Baby Bloopers are compiled from information provided by parents, reported in the media or shared by bloggers. If you would like to share your blooper experience, please add it here.

Guest blog: Camping with Children

If you've ever wondered how you'd survive camping with a baby or young children, read the experience of one mum, Corinne, who shares her top tips for stress-free camping here:

I have been on camping holidays since I was a baby, when we were kids my parents would pack up our small caravan and head off to places like the New Forest for a week at a time. Often we would team up with another family for a holiday, which as children we loved as we had ready made friends with us.

Looking back I remember these holidays with great fondness and most of my strongest childhood memories are from these times. It can’t have always been easy for my parents, there are 4 of us plus there were often young foster children added to the mix so they must have been busy trips for my Mum and Dad. Despite this I remember my parents being at their most relaxed on holiday.

As an adult I continued to camp, on holiday or at festivals and have always been happy in a 2 man tent with a roll mat and a sleeping bag. As I’ve got older and sleep has become more of a necessity I like a bit more comfort on my camping trips, but am always happy to rough it in terms of site facilities. I like a basic campsite and tend to avoid ones with ‘facilities’, a toilet block will do me.

This year we have really embraced camping again and purchased a beautiful bell tent in the hopes it will provide us with a lovely camping space for the next 20 years or so. We have just returned from a camping and baby naming weekend we organised for our youngest, we found that even friends who don’t do camping loved it. These are my top tips for camping with children:

1. If you are going to be a regular camping family invest in a decent sized tent. It does not need to be HUGE or posh or canvas but you should be able to stand up in it. On a wet day when you are stuck inside for longer than usual you will be so glad of this. Modern 4 man tents often have a porch or central area which are tall enough to stand in (the bedrooms do not need to be tall), these are ideal for a family of 4. The central area is also useful for storing stuff that doesn’t fit in the bedrooms.

2. Buy airbeds or camp beds. Do not think you’ll be warm and comfortable on the floor, you really won’t be. We had some friends staying at the campsite this weekend who decided they would leave theirs behind as their car was rather full, but then they got no sleep. It gets very cold at night and an airbed helps with warmth and comfort. If you have lots of room in your vehicle consider a memory foam mattress topper for the airbed, I’ve just got one and it is utter bliss, better than my bed at home! I always use duvet and pillows when camping, sleeping bags are fine if there’s less room but make sure they’re warm ones, even in the summer it gets cold at night. Take extra blankets if you can, they’re also useful for wrapping up in if anyone gets cold or wet.

3. Camping stoves are great but think about what and how much you’ll be cooking. I used to use a small stove but only ever heated up tins of beans and sausages. When I wanted to cook better meals I bought a single ring stove which the bottles slide into, it’s fine but the gas quickly runs out. We might upgrade to a bigger stove with separate gas bottle. The gas bottle is initially expensive but is worth it in the long run for us as we’ll get lots of use out of it. Boiling water uses lots of energy so consider getting a Kelly/Storm kettle if you drink lots of tea (like I do). It’s also ideal to get the water boiling for pasta/rice/vegetables. They are easy to use and rely on twigs for fuel so reduce costs long term. If you will eat out most of the time a basic stove will do. We like sites that allow camp fires, these are perfect to cook over but you will need to educate children on safe behaviour around campfires and barbeques.

4. Get ready for getting cold and wet. Layers are the best thing for adults and children as they can be easily added to or taken off. Even at night I wear pyjamas, socks and a jumper. All in one waterproof suits and wellies are perfect for toddlers, our toddler wears his most of the time, even if it’s dry as his favourite game is pouring water from pots. Once you get wet and cold camping it is hard to warm up again, something we struggle to get our 12 year old to understand!

5. Be prepared for late nights and early mornings. Especially at the beginning of a trip children will be excited. Forget the usual bedtime but do keep a routine (teeth brushing, story, bed, type of thing). We generally keep the children up until its dark on the first night or they don’t settle, generally they go to bed earlier as the week goes on as they’re tired out. They still get up with the sun, but again this settles down. If they are small try and plan a walk or a drive at some point during the day so they can get a nap in their buggy or car seat, it makes the evenings less stressful! When we put our toddler to bed he would get upset if we went outside the tent so we stayed inside until he went to sleep, however, this did mean pretending to be asleep for 10 minutes while he went off to sleep and ignoring his attempts to get our attention.

6. If you are bottle feeding a baby, a bowl and some sterilising tablets is the easiest way to sterilise bottles while away, they can be purchased at the chemist or supermarket. Other baby essentials (while trying not to take too much were folding changing mat, disposable nappies, baby wipes, nappy cream and a sling or buggy.

7. At night we put the baby and toddler in lots of layers. They wore a vest, babygrow, baby sleeping bag and a hooded cardigan. I also had blankets close by for really cold nights. This seemed to be enough to keep them cosy, they are less likely to wake up if they are warm. Our toddler slept in a travel cot and the baby either in the pram or with me, but on top of the covers.

8. Have a canvas bag with wash stuff in. It’s a small annoyance but morning and evening I would get asked where the toothbrushes were and there’d be a big search as they’d never go back where they started. This time I put everyone’s things in a canvas bag (possibly separate for boys and girls if using separate loos) and it was by the door of the tent and ready to go. On cleanliness, we are scruffy/smelly campers and the most we manage is teeth brushing, hair brushing and a strip wash. Our ‘wash bag’ contains toothbrushes, toothpaste, hairbrush, small quick drying towel and a toilet roll. I sometimes take more things but they never get used!

9. Plan for points of stress. These would typically be the journey at either end of the trip, trying to put the tent up and cooking. Make sure there is entertainment for the journey, especially if it's a long one, even if it's being ready to play I Spy with them for 5 solid hours. When putting up the tent give the children 'jobs' to do, it could be collecting kindling for the campfire later on or getting sleeping bags ready. Our toddler loved banging the tent pegs in even though they were already in place. We were a little worried about our toddler getting burnt while we were cooking or using the Kelly Kettle, so ended up strapping him into his buggy while we did those jobs, it wasn't ideal but it was the safest option.

10. Go prepared with activities. It could be a football and a pack of cards but think ahead of what you might need to entertain your children and what is or isn’t on site. We have a wonderful book called Nature's Playground: Activities, Crafts and Games to Encourage Children to get Outdoors. It’s full of great ideas and can really help when trying to entertain children outdoors.

So those are my top tips, I hope they are useful. Most of all enjoy being in the outdoors, go with friends if you can and make the most of creating those special memories.

Find out more about Corinne and her family on her blog Motherhood Journeys or follower her on Twitter @MotherScuffer

Planning a staycation? Check out our guide to the top-scoring baby-friendly holiday parks

If you're planning a last minute get-away to wrap up the summer holidays or are organised enough to be planning for next year, then check out these top scoring baby-friendly holiday parks, which received a 2010 Loo of the Year Award (baby change category).

The Loo of the Year Awards has a stringent judging criteria to ensure that parents and babies' needs are met. These include the provision of unisex facilities, adequate space for a twin buggy/pushchair and whether the area is clean and doesn't smell, among other things.

It's stressful enough organising a holiday, but with baby in tow, it can tip our stress levels over the edge. So finding a holiday park that goes that extra mile to meet parents' and babies needs gets a big thumbs up in my book. So here's the roll-call for the top-scoring baby change facilities in Great Britain, courtesy of the Loo of the Year Awards:

England

Lickhill Manor Caravan Club (5*)

Stourport-on-Severn

Worcestershire

Scotland

Skye Camping and Caravanning Club Site (5*)

Loch Greshornish, Borve Arnisort, Edinbane

Portree

Isle of Skye

Wales

Pencelli Castle Caravan and Camping Club (5*)

Pencelli

Brecon

Powys

Northern Ireland

Carnfunnock Caravan Site (4*)

Larne

County Antrim

Have you been camping with a young baby this year? Please get in touch if you'd like to write a guest blog for Bring the Baby and share your tips stress-free camping with babies. Email: justine.pannett@gmail.com

The T word that leads to the F word

I'm convinced that the people who live next door think I'm a monster mother. I think this because although lovely and friendly to my face they must hear me when I lose my rag. Also, I can hear them from time to time - our walls aren't exactly sound-proof!

I do my absolute best to be a calm, collected mum who can rise above anything. Some mornings I wake up with a new mantra in my head and a big smile on my face to become that perfect mum once again (although I'm not sure I've actually met her). This normally occurs after an arduous bedtime routine the night before. But I'm afraid it's often short-lived and the yelling-like-a-banshee fish-wife returns stronger than ever (particularly at a certain time of the month).

And then I feel utterly wretched that instead of speaking in a calm but authoritative tone to cut through the tantrum as demonstrated by the lovely Supernanny, I find myself roaring in competition with and at the same pitch as the little miss. Out of interest, does Jo Frost have any children of her own? Don't get me wrong, I think she's amazing and have frequently imagined her flying in and sorting out naughty steps and reward charts all round (for me included), but I too am a whizz when it comes to other people's children's tantrums. I just can't deal with my own.

But I do count myself lucky that I've only got the one six-going-on-sixteen year old to deal with. Yesterday I found myself taking pity on a poor mum who was trying to peel a starfish-shaped toddler off the ground while her baby yelled on. And I could sense her stress levels rising as she marched past me with gritted teeth and firm jaw, armed with a reluctant toddler, no doubt suppressing the urge to have a loud outburst of Tourettes.

So considering we're all in the same boat and not living the life of the Stepford Wives, isn't it strange that we worry so much about what other people think of us?

I think it's fair to say that at times kids can be positively horrid and so if I want to scream and scream and scream until I make myself sick, then I bloody well will. OK, more likely you'll hear me muttering the F-word under my breath while trying to find a way to compose myself to deal with the tantrum being drawn out in front of me.

Incidentally, muttering under my breath negatively in response to something the OH said landed me in big trouble today as the little miss heard exactly what I was saying and, thinking that OH probably hadn't heard what I'd said (yes, that was the point), repeated it. Thank you madam. Lesson learned.

Do events like World Breastfeeding Week really work?

Today is the start of World Breastfeeding Week.

I recognise that World Breastfeeding Week is a hook to raise awareness of the benefits of breast feeding but I have this nagging feeling that it will only be preaching to the converted – one week of awareness raising cannot change the world overnight.

I did breastfeed my daughter but that doesn’t mean I’m a preachy breastfeeder. I believe everyone should make the choice that’s right for them and right for their baby. In my antenatal group there were six mums, three of us breastfed, three formula fed, but it was everyone’s personal choice and today we’ve got six very happy bouncy children to show for it.

I do think it’s a shame however that the number of mums in the UK who choose to breastfeed are on the decline or give up early because they say they did not receive enough support or information to help them.

I know there’s a particular issue with young mums preferring the bottle over the boob and this is where I think campaigns like Be a Star really work. They’ve been developed having first gained an understanding of young people’s barriers to breastfeeding and this campaign sets out to glamourize it - it’s positive reinforcement rather than criticism for those who don’t, and I think that’s important to remember for all first-time mums, whatever their age.

I remember my own experience of having a baby who was a sleepy feeder, wouldn’t latch on, I was exhausted, she was exhausted and starving and I could so easily have given up. Fortunately, a very close friend who is also a midwife helped me and gave me the support I needed. But that support hadn’t been available to me at the hospital as the poor over-stretched midwives raced from one mum to the next and it’s probably in that first hour after giving birth when mums really need help, not days later when they’re exhausted and feeling completely useless (as I was!).

One thing I really have a bug bear with though is that mums are told breastfeeding doesn’t hurt. And that’s rubbish. I don’t know any breastfeeding mum who has escaped pain free and I for one had a few absolutely excrutiating, tear-inducing days when I would have been much happier chopping off my legs without an anaesthetic than go through with another feed.

Even though I breastfed I wasn’t terribly happy to get them out in public so was very quick to hunt out the places I could go when out and about to discretely feed my baby. Today I've seen lots of mums using baby nursing shawls to provide that extra bit of privacy for the not-so-bold mums like me – I do wish they’d been on the market six years ago.

To wrap up, I had lunch at a fantastic café called Ethel’s Kitchen in Hove yesterday and on their menu they state that mums are welcome to breastfeed. It’s lovely that they want to be so welcoming to mums but I think it’s a sad indication that other places aren’t so welcoming, as was highlighted in an example just last week by BrightonMums.com on their blog.

Mums have a right to feed their babies anywhere. Maybe if more businesses worked on welcoming breastfeeding mums, coupled with the availability of the nursing shawls for that bit of extra privacy, more mums may feel confident about breastfeeding in public?

Letting go of the baby reins…just a little

Three nights last week were spent living in a tent on a campsite nestled in the heart of the New Forest.

One of the things I love most about camping is the sense of freedom and the way it forces you to leave behind modern day living – although it took us three adults a little bit of getting used to the fact that not only were we without internet connection, we simply had no phone signal at all (note for reference: if you do want to stay in touch with the outside world, mix up your networks a bit – three people on 3 with no signal just didn’t work!)

So, free we were to throw away responsibility for four days, let the kids run wild with filthy feet and matted hair as they made new best friends for five minutes and didn’t stop playing from dawn until dusk. Although I did start to question my newly-adopted laid-back approach to parenting when I discovered my six year old making herself a crisp sandwich for breakfast!

Camping was real adventure for S and a perfect opportunity to give her a little bit of the independence she longs for (she’s going through the six going on 16 stage right now). I remember my own childhood experiences of camping, roaming around the campsite with my new friends and not actually being aware that my parents were there at all!

So when she asked if she could go to the shop on her own I decided to let her and watched tentatively as she disappeared from sight just briefly and then returned with the correct change and two ice packs and a grin from ear to ear full of tales of her brief entry into the world of grown-ups. And from then on there was no stopping her. She wanted to do the washing up, walk to the toilet block on her own, fill up the water bottles…I could very easily have taken full advantage of my daughter’s enthusiasm and let her get on with the cooking too!!

Leaving camping behind and returning to normal life (and normal height – you spend a lot of time bending over when camping unless you’ve been sensible and invested in a proper camping stove!) I felt saddened by images in this week’s newspaper of Sarah Payne and Madeleine McCann, two little girls whose tragic tales are a reminder of the world we live in today. I want my daughter to grow up without fear of the outside world but balanced with an awareness that normal life isn’t like one big happy campsite, where parents look out for each other’s kids, and you can just pop to the shop on your own at the age of six (oh – and that it’s the only time when you will find grown-ups in the shop in their pyjamas!)

What this camping trip has taught me is that I need to use my imagination to find ways to let S have a little bit more independence , but in a closely supervised sort of way. Eeek – letting go of those baby reins is definitely not an easy thing to do…

Bring the Baby recommendation:

Highly recommended for baby-friendly camping is Red Shoot Campsite in Linwood in the New Forest. It’s clean and very well maintained and the staff are extremely friendly and welcoming. There’s a dedicated family wash room in addition to the spacious toilet and shower blocks, plus there’s a pub on site for those nights when you want a night off from cooking sausages and beans. 10/10

The toilet and the absurdities of UK law

I’ve been in touch with the British Toilet Association this week to find out more about the law and the provision of public facilities.

I was really surprised to discover that they fall under one of the absurdities of UK law, in that there is no legal requirement for public toilets or baby changing facilities to be provided. But they are covered by guidelines within a British Standard. In reference to baby changing it states that 'adequate baby changing facilities should be provided in all public toilets'.

So I’m not sure whether to groan at the government here or raise my hat to the local authorities and businesses who have taken the initiative to include baby changing facilities where public toilets are provided.

The good news, according to the British Toilet Association, is that most planning departments will consider these recommendations in planning applications for new developments so there's opportunities for improvements in baby changing and feeding facilities. Ealing Council for example have really considered parents' needs in their planning guidance for baby care facilities, including separate baby changing and feeding facilities and enough space to manoeuvre and park pushchairs.

The British Toilet Association has long campaigned for legislation to be introduced regarding the provision of public toilet facilities. Unfortunately, this has fallen on deaf ears at Westminster and the problem has been further compounded by the local government budget cuts. And here I was thinking Mr Cameron was a family man! But their work doesn't stop there and they continue to lobby on behalf of our's and our baby's bottoms.

On the plus side, the British Toilet Association supports the Loo of the Year Awards which includes a category for baby changing facilities. Last year’s national award winner was Asda. Their criteria focuses on the provision of such facilities but I don't think it addresses issues such as whether nappy bins are emptied and if separate feeding facilities are provided, so that's where we come in.

As an aside, the urban myth that if you’re pregnant and need to pee, your need will be accommodated by a policeman’s hat is in fact...true. Another absurdity of UK law perhaps? I wonder if anyone has put it to the test…

What the baby books forget to tell you

Six years ago tomorrow I became a mum.

I’m sure I’m not alone in having read every single book I could get my hands on, scoured the internet obsessively and attended my ante-natal classes and listened and learned like an A-grade student in preparation for being the perfect mum.

I envisaged whiling away the hours with friends, drinking tea and eating cake as we cooed over our babies, relaxing with a glossy magazine while my baby slept, enjoying long hot summer days strolling through the park, sun kissed and contended (me and my baby). I mean that’s how it is isn’t it?

Wrong! My moment of realisation came as I found myself battling with an every-two-hours feeding schedule. I was determined to breastfeed but my little baby was a very sleepy feeder, which meant that one feed could take an hour and a half, with a half hour break and then off we went again. I barely had time to get myself in the shower let alone out of the front door!

I felt quite a failure during those early weeks – the highlight probably being when the health visitor came round two days after we’d come home from hospital, for a weigh-in. Having just fed and changed, I laid my baby on the sofa to undress her and at that moment she projectile pooed a stream of yellow stickiness on me, the walls and the cream sofa (fortunately missing the health visitor). As if that wasn’t enough, this was followed by a big wee and then she was sick. I didn’t know what or who to clean up first and I just stood there, mouth agog, holding up my naked baby. By now I was convinced the health visitor would see right through me as a total fraud who simply couldn’t be trusted to be in charge of such as small, fragile being.

Fortunately, things started to improve. I eventually managed to get out of the house and plan my power-walk dash to the shops or the park in between feeds or bundle us both into the car and drive as fast as I could (safely) to our destination before my daughter woke up.

As an aside, trying to fathom out the supermarket with a baby in tow was another story altogether – no one tells you about the special trolleys that enable you to shop and have your baby with you at the same time. I only found out about these trolleys after my first trip when I’d taken my mum along to push the baby in one trolley while I ran around pretending I was a contestant in Supermarket Sweep with another!

I also got to enjoy some of the summer during my maternity leave drinking tea and eating cake with my friends – although my sun kissed and contented look was definitely replaced with a sleep-deprived pasty complexion and stress.

Six years on – in spite of all the stresses and strains of parenting, it’s been the most amazing experience watching my daughter grow from being a little baby into a beautiful, sweet, happy little girl (even if our lives are still dictated by her need to eat little and often – some habits never change!). Happy birthday little S!

Bring the Baby's first steps

So how is Bring the Baby going to take shape? And what are we setting out to do?
It’s a grand vision but we want to change the face of baby friendliness in this country. There seems to be such huge inconsistencies in baby friendliness, not just between our high-street businesses, but within those businesses themselves. Research (that’s a loose term for cyber-stalking the parenting forums) has thrown up enormous differences between baby changing and feeding facilities in supermarkets and the big high-street names (even those whose main focus is the baby and parenting market) in towns just a few miles apart.

But it’s not all doom and gloom. There seem to be some places out there that are bounding ahead with their parent-friendly facilities – some of the larger out of town shopping centres for starters and Ikea for example seem to score highly.
So the first steps are to continue gathering information and use Bring the Baby to centralise it all so that we can start to identify what the key issues are that parents would like to see addressed. Number one appears to be combined baby changing and breast feeding facilities (such an obvious no no!), followed by overflowing and smelly nappy bins and dirty nappy changing facilities. Please add your comments to this list so that we know what the issues are that you want to be taken forward.
Thereafter, the plan is to contact companies about their policies and to flag the concerns raised by the Bring the Baby community. But we’re not going hell for leather for just the bad guys – I strongly believe that you can effect change by highlighting best practice and encouraging others to follow suit – so I think there should a combination of carrot and stick. But this is your campaign too, so if you have any thoughts or ideas, please share them.

Thanks to everyone who has joined Bring the Baby in its first week. Please continue to spread the word.

"I was told to breastfeed in the loo!"

Well, Bring the Baby is finally up and running. Thanks to everyone for 'liking' and 'following' and for the fantastic feedback. I'm glad you like the idea.

I've been hearing people's experiences of baby feeding and changing facilities - from having to negotiate, with a screaming baby in a pushchair, a slow and tight lift to reach a feeding room on the lower ground floor of a shopping centre in East Sussex to rave reviews about the facilities at a shopping centre in the Midlands.

But how would you feel if you were told to breastfeed your baby in the loo? This was experienced by a mum at a very popular family attraction in Surrey. I wonder how that member of staff would like it if they were told to eat their lunch on the toilet!

I'm keen to build up a more detailed picture of the good and bad points so please tell us about your experiences. Please feel free to leave comments here or join in the conversation on Twitter @bringthebaby or on our Facebook page.

Thanks - I look forward to hearing from you.
Justine

Because just getting out the front door is hard enough

Six years ago I had an idea to create a website that would list all baby-friendly places and facilities up and down the country. This included baby changing, breast feeding, bottle warming and family friendly car parks - that sort of thing.

The idea stemmed from my own experiences as a new mum and the tight schedule I had to work to, to make sure I wasn't far from somewhere I could breast feed and then change the baby's nappy. Luckily I lived in a fairly family friendly town so facilities were pretty good and as the little one was a summer baby I also had the choice of alfresco nappy changing and feeding for the first few months.

But heading away from my home town used to fill me with dread - just getting out of the house, making sure I'd remembered everything and getting to where I was going before the next feeding demand turned me into a complete stress head!

I'm sure I'm not alone in having read every single book and trawled the internet for parenting advice but what it all fails to really tell you is how to successfully get out of the front door and survive parenthood with a newborn in the big bad world outside. My first trip to the supermarket involved two trolleys, the little one in one being pushed by my mum and me with the other doing a supermarket sweep frantically scooping items off the shelf as I raced round in the small window between feeds. And then we discovered the special trolleys designed to accommodate babies in their car seat. Hoorah - life was starting to get a little easier - but it would have been helpful to have known this sort of thing before I set foot, baby in tow, outside the front door.

So, over numerous slabs of Victoria sponge cake - a staple diet during my year of breast feeding - I chatted to fellow mums about my idea and everyone agreed it was a good one.

Sadly, my idea got lost between bringing up baby and returning to work, and what happens if you leave an idea for too long? Someone else comes up with it.

So the good news is that there's a couple of websites and even an iphone app courtesy of the NCT providing this sort of information.

But what I've also discovered through my research is the general sense of dissatisfaction about this country's baby changing facilities and the lack of a warm welcome for breast feeding. So, wearing my campaigning/marketing/PR hat, I've decided to bring my original idea to life but with a focus to make Britain a proud place to bring the baby by campaigning for improved baby-friendly facilities.

So please come and join us. If you've found out about us via this blog, then please join the campaign at:

Facebook
Twitter: @bringthebaby

Thank you.